United States History


Rutherford B. Hayes

Rutherford B. Hayes (a photo)
Hayes is remembered for his inability to keep the endings of books a secret.  People referred to him as "Spoiler Alert" Hayes.  It has been said by many historians (but actually by no historians) that Hayes once rode his bicycle to his friend Jeremiah's house at the stroke of midnight and yelled up to his window, "She dies at the end!"  As Hayes hopped on his bike to quickly flee the scene, he hit a stone with his front tire, causing the bike to stop immediately and propelling Hayes forward.  He flew three feet over the handlebars and landed with his crotch on a tree stump.  "Yeeooww!" Hayes yelled.  "My nuts!  My nuts!  My nuts are crushed!"  

Hayes' wife was named Lucy.